Mother's Day Redux

Sunday was Mother's Day and I was joined by my sons, newly returned from a 17 month journey through Australasia.  It was wonderful.  Having them back is a gift. They bring meaning to my life in a way no one else can.  This obvious truth was patently present during their absence.  Being a mom is a wonderful thing.  It may not be for everyone but, for me, it has changed my life for the better.

My mother was an incredibly loving person.  She rarely judged anyone, let alone me. Other people didn't seem to bother her.  I am grateful for her loving hand.  Were it not for her, I might be exactly like my dad: judgmental, outspoken, sometimes quite rude.  As it is, I always have hope I may temper those dominant qualities with her gentle approach.

I miss her more than I can say.

And All That Remains...

And all that remains

Are the faces and names

Of the wives and the sons

And the daughters.

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Gordon Lightfoot

Searching for images to match the final stanza of the song, I found these incredible photographs in a post written two days after the death of Osama bin Laden, "Standing in a Room of Mirrors" .  She writes a particularly poignant post.

Mommies, Have A Wonderful Day!

60 Minutes: Homeless Children in the U.S.

60 Minutes drew this Thanksgiving weekend to a close with a report on the homeless.  Scott Pelley revisited children and families first interviewed last Spring to hear how they're doing.

 It wasn't pretty.`The statistics are shocking:

• 16 million U.S. children are living in poverty
• children in poverty comprise almost 25%, 1 out of 4
• 1/3 of all homeless people live in Florida
• 2/3 of the Florida homeless are on the streets

He put faces on the stats making it all the more real and heart breaking.

 If you didn't see the report, please watch the posted video above.

After a weekend of too much to eat and drink and four days off work, I sure as shit know what I'm thankful for and it's the roof over my head, the food I can afford to buy, the job I go to every day and the health my family and I enjoy. 

I wish the 1% everyone keeps talking about were mandated to watch this report on a daily basis until they helped put people back to work, back in their foreclosed homes and their children back in school on a consistent basis, 

Link to the guide to help these children in Seminole County, Fl through Families in Transition:  Seminolehomelesskids.org

Fathers and Sons

Alpha Dog  & His Pack
2007 or '08

My husband thinks this is a terribly corny name for a photo.  He is the "Alpha dog" to our lovable dogs, Dewey (pictured) and Zoe.  He is also dad to his two sons, also pictured.  Of the three, the dog is the most obedient. 

Happy Fathers' Day all.

 

Born in the USA a la The Daily Show

Stewart's take on immigration reform.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Born in the U.S.A.
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Good Friends

Last March, my girlfriend & husband threw a party. The weather outside was frightful but about 60 people drove to her home in the Maine countryside to enjoy a lively and "informal Tex Mex" banquet. She comes from a restaurant family and is a very good cook. She prepared empanadas made with slow roasted pulled pork, refried beans, hot hot chili, corn bread, several kinds of salads, fresh fruit & cheese, enchiladas, guacamole, roasted asparagus, taquitos; it was grand. I prepared a double layered lemon cheesecake with lemon curd topping. Someone else made a Mexican chocolate & cinnamon cake with milk frosting. There was a slushy machine churning out margaritas. You could just walk up, pull the lever and "that frozen concoction" came pouring out.

These photos are from the party. Left is the party giver and artist, Joelle. In the middle is our Swiss friend, Ladina, an amazing skier and athlete. I'm on the right. We girls met when our sons were in third grade. Between the baseball, football, soccer and more, we found ourselves car pooling, cooking for team dinners, planning picnics and time for the families to share with one another. We incorporated our husbands which forever cemented our relationships. Over the past twelve years we have exercised, partied, cooked, played, cried, clung to one another and laughed our asses off over anything we can. In the photo above, we are discussing the benefits vs the defects of high heels while holding Joelle's 4" heels which she has now taken off because her feet hurt.

I'm now 57. Ladina is 51, I think. Joelle is 40. Our friendship is based on a mutual love of the same things and the enjoyment and respect we have for one another. Raising our kids has been easier because we share our frustrations and fear, give good advice when we're asked and sympathise with one another. Our parenting skills are in synch. One night, Joelle and I ferreted out the location of an illegal kid drinking party, drove there, walked in the front door, big as life, pointed to a group of sullen looking boys and said,

"You, You, You...GET IN THE CAR!"

Out came our three boys. I think they were freshmen in high school. Boy, were they embarrassed. My son said it took two years to live that down, heh heh.

Every time we share a meal, we touch glasses and say,

"Here's to us! Here's to good friends."

Marriage Vows

I watched a couple restate their vows in church this morning. They've been married 50 years. It was an incredibly touching moment and I acknowledge the unlikely longevity of marriage nowadays. What struck me most was how I feel about marriage in general. It's work. Alot of work. But it is not impossible nor is it inevitable nor is it incredible.

I have been married 34 years. It will be 35 in January. I thought about the highs and lows and the hard parts and the good times and the bad times and thought, "What the hell, if you want it bad enough, you can make it work out."

Does this mean I'm super human or special or unique? No. I'm just somebody who wanted to make it work out for a variety of reasons.

I cannot tell you how many times my husband and I wanted to separate; how many fights we had when we threatened to "leave". We were divorced three years. That was early on. We'd been married five years, suffered through a natural disaster, and didn't weather the storm. No kids, no money, no fault.

We remarried three years later...three years we referred to as a "hiatus". We've never regretted that. It was necessary and it was awesome.

I can only say that whether our reasons for staying together make sense or not, they work. The reasons are many:

the children
the years we spent together
the fear of living without one another
the shared experiences
the children

Are those good or bad? Doesn't matter.

I am old school. I think divorce is too convenient. We take the easy way out when things get uncomfortable. Marriage is like a business, a partnership. It's for many reasons, not all of them are about love. There is the inevitable business of raising the family. If you have children, you owe them. It is no longer about you. It is now about the children. Too many people forget that. We, as adults, should be forced to take a test to have children. It's just too easy to have kids and walk away. Children are the future. We owe them. We've already made our mistakes. It's time to give to our children. I believe that more than I believe anything.

If children are the future, we owe them our best, no matter we've left our best behind us long ago.