Mary Poppins Has A Beef to Pick with the Government

Mary Poppins is a woman of a certain age and she's turning a song I've never liked into a statement. Thanks Funny or Die!

 

Mary Poppins Quits with Kristen Bell from Funny Or Die

Photoshopping Real Women Into Cover Models

As much as I think I'd like to have this done (and I'm married to a photographer who can do it), would I be happy with the results? Interesting approach to an age old, or is it "old age", question.

 

My husband has a fabulous photography book of Hollywood stars from the 30s & 40s showing hand-retouched before and after shots of the most famous stars of those eras.  It is eye opening.

posted by BuzzFeed Video Feb. 13, 2014

Russell Brand is a Better Interviewer Than Mika Brzezinski

Mika & Joe:  No sexism here!

A few weeks ago, June 17th to be exact, Russell Brand appeared as a guest on "Morning Joe".  I happened to catch it live and watched, in fascination, as he took down every one of the smug talking heads around the table.  I admired his spot-on critique and delighted in his impromptu delivery and comebacks to the quickly baffled group.  He actually had them at a loss for words.   I backed up the show so my husband could see it.

The segment is now a barn burner video in the annals of what is wrong with talk show hosts.

Having watched "Morning Joe" for several years,  there are aspects to it I enjoy, primarily Willy Geist, Mike Barnicle, Chuck Todd and regular guest Jon Meacham.  To put it another way, I enjoy it when Joe and Mika are absent from the round table of positing pols, mea culpa celebs and omniscient talking heads.   Joe Scarborough is tough to take.  He's a blowhard who talks over most guests, even those with whom he's in agreement.  I did soften a bit towards him when he took up the cause for gun control and blasted the NRA, but he is informed.  I just don't often agree with his side.

Mika Brzezinski, on the other hand, is a complete fail in the anchor department.  The daughter of  the highly intellectual and sought after former National Security Advisor to President Jimmy Carter, Zbigniew Brzezinski, she appears and acts like a bubble head whose most repeated expressions include eye rolling and staring at the audience as if to say "WTF?"

She has a news anchor background and, with her made-for-Fox News looks (obscenely platinum blonde, heavy studio make up, tailored tight dresses and gams always on display) plus a desirable genetic heritage, the MSNBC producers must have thought they hit the jackpot.

They did not.

Don't get me wrong.  I'd display my glorious gams too, but not on my news show and especially not in the publicity shots of me and my co-host in & around NYC "on the job".  This overly sexual representation of her is at odds with a serious interviewer, news person, etc.

Her major obsessions revolve around running (as in marathons) and an abhorrence of fast food and
Twinkies.  She was, at one time, a binge eater.  She was, apparently, also the quiet one at the table in a family of intellectuals.  I can understand her need to compensate now she has her own forum.  What I do not understand is her condescension to all things "pop culture" as she says in the video.  Time and again I have heard her say she's never seen this or that movie despite she's hosting a star of the movie in question.  Same with books, etc.

Russell Brand followed up his experience with an Op-Ed in The Guardian.

Writing in The Guardian that TV hosts are often "perfectly amiable" when you talk to them off-camera, Brand opines that "when the red light goes on they immediately transform into shark-eyed Stepford berks talking in a cadence you encounter nowhere else but TV-land—a meter that implies simultaneously carefree whimsy and stifled hysteria. There is usually a detachment from the content."  E!online

I find her intellectually lazy and wonder about the talented women who aren't, who would willingly fill her shoes and do a terrific job.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Along the same lines,  The Atlantic article about  Jenny McCarthy's crackpot campaign to stop
nationwide vaccinations of children, says the TV show,  The View will hire her as a new host.  What exactly are her credentials other than the Playboy bunny who made her name on Howard Stern's radio how talking dirty with the bad boy, as a sometime assistant host of numerous shows incl Rockin' New Year's Eve, paramour of Jim Carrey's and a woman who knows how to keep her name in the public eye for all the wrong reasons?

 Oh. Right.  The twins.

The always understated Jenny McCarthy

This just in:  According to The Daily Mail, she's been hired.  Ahhh, more mediocrity.

Tuesday humor from this WOACA

My younger co-worker sent this YouTube video to me today. He knows how cranky I've been since the operation. He sent it along to "cheer" me up.  It does.

 

P.S.  Make sure you watch this all the way to the end.

Navigating 60

"They" say

Friends since grade school  Cali visit 2008

•      "It's just a number" 
•      "You're only as old as you feel" 
•      "Looking good is better than feeling   good" 
•      "Confidence is everything."

My number is 61.  Of late, I've been feeling substantially older and there's no trade-off for not feeling good.  Confidence?  It lies somewhere between a good day at work and how well my makeup goes on in the morning.  

I'm on that precarious balance beam between aging and OLD AGE.  No matter how often I walk toe to heel up and down the beam, I lean in towards the tired and decrepit side.  Yes.  I "lean in" but not the way Sheryl Sandberg advocates.  I'm tired and mad as hell and I don't want to play any more!

Pitty party petulant?  You bet.  Envious of my retiring friends with money saved?  Yes again.  Fear of the future?  Definitely.

Class of 1969 H.S. Reunion held 2008

What to do?

Possible options:

• Plastic surgery
• Frequent facials
• More exercise, less food
• More time spent with old friends
• Create an exit strategy for when you retire or get fired

Of course, applying work strategies to personal problems may or may not be the best solution.  But it is a dispassionate approach.  I can already rule out the plastic surgery.   I'd have to dip into retirement funds and that ain't gonna happen.  I was getting frequent facials for a while and they helped.  They're expensive, however, at $60 per.  That means something else has to go and it's not going to be my hair cuts & color every six weeks.  Those will be the last thing I ever give up.

More time spent with old friends my age is the most appealing.   We can talk without flinching about things forty years back, an uncomfortable elephant in the room when meeting new people not clued in to our exact decade in life.  Being a "Sixties" kid is not what it used to be.  I like the camaraderie of shared experiences.  It binds and comforts us.

Party in Westlake Village, CA  2008

My husband and I are thinking hard about our next act, where to live and how to afford it.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and/or experiences on the subject of retirement planning.  Even if you're not there yet, you probably have ideas along the lines of what you'll do.

Bitch Philosophy from Tina Fey & Amy Poehler

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler got it right more often than not on SNL.  Smart ladies with smart messages for the rest of us bitches...

Getting in Touch With Myself

My husband calls this "Reality Check"...

 I call it " Good hair day...and not a bad picture."

Women of a Certain Age Bringing It in NH

New Hampshire has elected an all female legislative delegation

Newly elected Governor Maggie Hassan (D), U.S. Senator Carol Shea Porter (D) and U.S.Representative Anne Kuster (D) join U.S. Senator Jeanne Shaheen (D) and U.S. Representative Kelly Ayotte (R) as the first all woman delegation in U.S. history.

They don't call us "First in the Nation" for nothing!

Milestones

Back in the Day 
Laguna Beach 1990

Last year at this time, I was preparing for a trip to New Orleans to mutually celebrate, with friends, our 60th birthdays.  I was full of angst about how I looked, how I would get around as we were staying near the Quarter and would be walking most of the time.  I needed a long-overdue knee replacement and I felt so old.    Sixty is a daunting birthday when it's in front of you.  I was in constant pain, feeling quite unattractive and unable to do most things I once did without effort.  Inotherwords, not a happy camper. 

A year later, I have a new knee, I feel better than I have in 11 years when I had my first hip replacement, my body is in better shape thanks to a two year work out regimen pre-op, post-op and ongoing training.   I'm comparatively pain-free and it is a game changer.

Certain birthdays are milestones.  We should use them as time for reflection, not self-recrimination.  Most of us are way too hard on ourselves, too critical, too judgmental, too regretful.  

Mistakes are made.  Bodies change.  Faces age.  Goals soften.  That is life.

I'm happier now than I've been in eleven years.  I'm glad that birthday is behind me.  I'm approaching 61 and I honestly don't care.  

What a difference a year makes.

New Orleans 2011  

Friday Funny

I may be out of their demo but I remember the emotion...Women of a certain age, 29 vs 31.

When Less Is(n't) More

My 85 yr old MIL handed me another subscription to a magazine she ordered but can't relate to.  That's it on the left, More.  

More is aimed at women over 40.  It was a radical concept when it launched in 1988.  Magazines and advertisers were predominantly focused on 18-34 year olds. 

I was still in my thirties so I didn't read it and never developed an interest.  Now, I'm pretty much out of the demo entirely and that doesn't sit well at all.

Last night, while leafing through, I read the "Best Anti-Aging Beauty Ideas at 30,40,50,60".  As do most people who've crossed over into a new age group,  I'm straddling the decades.  I began with the 60 year old make up suggestions and worked my way backwards:  

• 60's - use face & eyelid primer, lose the concealer, waterproof mascara, eyelash curler, neutrals
• 50's - use primer, sheer concealer, eyelash curler, waterproof eye makeup, mattes
• 40's - use primer, vivid cheek & lip color, tinted moisturizer, shimmers 
• 30's - WTF Anything goes You're in your 30s.

I haven't used an eyelash curler in decades.  Perhaps they work better now?  I remember if I squeezed too often or long, eyelashes fell out.  

I can't get waterproof mascara or eye makeup off.  Never could.  The magazine experts recommend it if you're using eye cream as eye cream will rub off the mascara, eye & brow shadow giving you racoon eyes, lost brows and smeary eye shadow.  I usually have one or two makeup meltdowns by the end of day. 

I've tried primer and didn't like it.  It made me face feel dry and I have oily skin.  Perhaps there's a really good one but I notice the recommended brand changes & price goes up with each decade.  

Vivid colors, neutral colors, shimmers, mattes; beauty experts do not seem to be able to reach a consensus.  Some writers extol the virtues of a red red mouth no matter your age.  

The Diane Keaton photo I use for styling my hair

I have a photograph of Diane Keaton taped to my mirror.  I don't expect to look like her.  I do, however, style my hair like hers.  She's my muse of the moment.  When I was young, it was Sophia Loren.  I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to draw my eyeliner like hers. 

   

This is exactly how I did my make up in high school

The end result was not quite the same.

After reading the tips, I thought, "What happens when you're seventy?"

There are no provisions, no suggestions, no styling, make up, shoe suggestions.  I can't think of a single women's magazine I've seen that addresses the older woman in terms of style.  Do we just give up? 

Do what you gotta do.  If you're into make up and hair and girly stuff, enjoy it.  One blogger wrote yesterday of her 90 year old mother who still gets gussied up, has her hair done, puts on make up and likes to wear feminine peignoirs even in the hospital.

I kinda like that.

It Ain't Me Babe...Is It?

It's very hard to accept aging, no matter what anyone says. I look in the mirror and, if I'm really being honest with myself, I see an unfamiliar face.  Photographs increase my awareness of the changes I've undergone. The photographs tell the true story because they leave nothing to my imagination.  It's all there, in color. Yes ma'am. 


I am particularly touchy about it as this is another milestone birthday year.

My best friend from Jr. High, pictured here, hates having

her photograph taken.  Why?  No idea as she seems to look the best when we review the shots.  Nevertheless, she is and always has been the most reluctant to have her photo taken.

Another friend of mine is always cute and smiling  and our photographs together convey the fun we have.
When we were teens, she asked me to straighten her hair with Perma Straight.  We  became distracted and left it in too long and her hair came out in clumps!  Somehow, we laughed through it all.

This friend and I have shared some seriously hilarious times together. She never minds having her photo taken.  I have some doozies of her when we were in high school.  


What is interesting to me is to view photos of myself I once thought terrible and think,
"Well, that's not so  bad!" 
  
How 'bout you?

How To Celebrate Your 60th

Some people get face lifts.  Some throw themselves a big party.  Some take their trip of a lifetime.  Some people review their life and friends and ponder the future.  I've just done everything but the face lift.

I'm talking about "turning"; aging, having another birthday; getting old past the middle age mark.  Yes, I mean the big Six OH.  

Five of my friends and I celebrated our 60th birthdays in New Orleans this past week.  We went without our spouses or significant others because that's how we grew up, single and together, some of us since elementary school, all of us since junior high.

In many ways, it was as though no time had passed.  We share so much history, the bulk of it in our youth.  But we've stayed friends from a distance.

Our lives continue to intersect because we take the time to stay in touch.  It's not always perfect.  There has been anger and hurt feelings and sniping along the way, not unlike this trip.  However, what would life be without challenges?

We are beset by issues of varying degrees, some of us drink waaay too much, some have real physical  debilitation, some of us need to dial down the cranky meter more effectively but all of us are comparatively healthy.  Four days in New Orleans carousing, eating and walking will let you know real fast what kind of shape you are in.

I wish I could tell you we had an easy time together, that everyone got along.  Some of us really did our best to go with the flow.  But, by sixty, you are set in your ways and those of us less willing to bend made it tough on the rest.

I can say there was one very surprising revelation, a deep dark secret revealed.  There were minor admittances of indiscretions and stupid behavior as well.  But I viewed it as reaching out for acceptance, approval, forgiveness none of which were offered by one hundred per cent of the group.  Some of us have become more understanding with the years, some less so.

We are a mixed bag facing the rest of our lives.  I look forward to my future but I can't pretend not to mourn my past.  We were young, energetic and extremely bonded.  

And I miss that.

Kirstie Alley Smack Down of David Letterman

Kirstie Alley, runner up in 2011 "DWTS" appeared on The Late Show this week to show she has a sense of humor despite his jokes at her expense.



Great to see this woman of a certain age and size best the often inappropriate Letterman. A big High Five to her.

Robert Redford: Still Awesome After All These Years

1985 cover SKI Magazine

Robert Redford is a guy who never ceases to amaze me with his activism, his focus, his contributions to environmental causes and film and, most of all, his screen presence.  As a woman of a certain age, he is my all time favorite movie star and the handsomest man I've ever not seen.  Cary Grant wins that accolade from me because I walked past him once at Dodger Stadium and almost swooned at his gorgeousness.  (He had white hair and those heavy rimmed glasses by then but no matter.)

 

Anyway, SKI magazine is celebrating their 75th year in publication by "honoring the people, events, places, and things that have made skiing what it is today."

Redford is their first choice. 

Mine too.

A Bit of SELF Examination

I call this blog "Women of a Certain Age" yet I seldom write about the topic.  I started it with the idea it would be about women what they think, what they do, who they are, where they see themselves at different ages.  Instead, I found myself seguing, time and again, into politics.   I probably should have called it "Woman of a Certain Age"  and let it be about my opinions and not feel I'm off topic.  But, it is what it is.

I've just read a very nice article in the August edition of SELF magazine, titled "Bring on the birthdays!".  It's under their self expression category swhich offers personal opinions of women of certain ages, in this case from 28 to 78.  Each person describes what her coming of age means to her.  The first vignette is by a woman aged 42 who describes overcoming her fear of being too old and too afraid to learn to surf.  She finds a "bald, wiry and short" guy to teach her, hangs in there and finally learns after years of wanting it but being afraid.  She describes it this way,

("A benefit of age is that you care less about looking foolish and you know the value of persistance.")

I certainly agree with her perspective; not sure I'd go surfing, but it gives me something to think about with respect to facing my own fears.

The eldest contributor writes of her reluctance to attend this year's family reunion at a lake.  She positions her dilemma:  sit on the shore in a coverup and watch her grandchildren cavort or participate?  Her decision,

"I will look at my 70 year-old sister, Susie, and grin.  Together we'll watch the grandchildren, so joyously alive, just like the two of us.  Then I'll shed my cover-up and there I'll be in my new bathing suit on my old body which, despite three mornings a week at the gym, continues to succumb to gravity."

Whew!  I know how that feels even if I'm not 78.   We've been going to a nearby lake and I've been in three of my bathing suits and they're all torturous.  I need to get a grip.

Another woman's essay, titled "At 50, I'm keeping my vow", writes about her decision never to lie about her age.

"It's because of a promise I made to another friend back in 1981...I was sitting on a metal chair in a hospital watchiing Ed die of AIDS.  He was 31...as I watched his chest stop moving, I could think only of what Ed would have traded for the chance to grow old.  So I silently vowed to honor the life he never got to finish by celebrating my ability to finish my own.  I promised myself I would never complain about my sheer luck at having the gift of another day.  Another decade."

I never lie about my age.  My reasons are not dramatic or because of an epiphany. I simply never lie about my age because my mother never lied about hers.  Her friends continued to get younger but Mother never budged.  I always admired her for that. 

Speaking of age, the MIL took free subscriptions to Glamour and SELF magazines, thinking they were age-appropriate for my taste.  I've enjoyed reading them even though they feel somehow like a guilty pleasure.  That said, when it's time to renew, I think I just might keep the SELF subscription.  It always has one article that resonates.

The Field Negro

A favorite political blog, The Field Negro, has highlighted Women of A Certain Age in his side bar "Blog I Am Feeling".  This author is a Philadelphia lawyer who posts a variety of political commentary on issues we all care about.  His writing is observant, witty and he provokes alot of follow up commentary.  Alot.  

His post today is about Jon Stewart's recent interview with Chris Wallace and the follow up controversy.  I was drawn like a bee to honey when I saw Stewart's face in the blogroll.  You know how I love the guy, even when I don't like what I consider his pandering to certain guests or topics.  

I won't play modest, I'm psych'd to be recognized.  Thank you for the honor!

Kiss Kiss Bye Bye

What happens when a "woman of a certain age" has had it up to here with her philandering partner to whom she's given what some may consider the best years of her life?

Joy Behar provokes an already angry Shannon Tweed to walk out on her partner of 28 years, Gene Simmons. If you want to see a guy squirm when confronted with his shortcomings (bwahahaha), watch the video.




Now, we all know she must have known what she was getting into when she hooked up with this guy.  I mean, who hasn't seen his tongue action?  She was once Hugh Hefner's GF so I'm guessing she liked the high life regardless of her partner's proclivities.

Once you reach a certain age, however, you want to relax.  You want to know your partner stands behind you, figuratively speaking of course.  You want to feel safe.  Gene Simmons does not equal safe. 

28 years = alotta dough, married or no.  You go Shannon!

P.S.  If you're out of the country & can't see the video, here's the link to Joy Behar's blog where I picked it up:  http://joybehar.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/13/shannon-tweed-walks-out-on-gene-simmons-during-taping/

This Woman's Brain

Last night, while getting ready to leave work, I washed my hands in the restroom.  My co-worker was locking up when I realized I could not find my keys.  I began with the usual steps, dumping the entire contents of my purse on the table, looking around the bathroom perimeter, looking inside the bathroom where I knew I'd had them.  Damn! 

My co-worker, a 35 year old nice guy, unlocked the station doors and we began to search together.  I have 20+ years on this guy and I'm feeling guilty even though I know losing keys is BIG with men.  Anyway, I'm beginning to think I've gone looney tunes when he goes back to the rest room and returns with the keys.

"Where did you find them?"  I asked with shock.

"I retraced what I thought were your steps...washing of hands, towel drying, throwing towel away.  You threw your keys away with the paper towel."

Head slap!  Honest to God, I'd never have looked in that waste basket because you would not have convinced me I'd do such a thing. 

Thursday Funnies for Women of a Certain Age