How To Choose?

I had an incredibly vivid dream last night about an old boyfriend with whom I was once in love. We are reunited, somehow. We are older and married to other people. I am married to my real husband.

Our attraction to one another is overwhelming. We discuss leaving our spouses to be together again for the rest of our lives. He makes his decision and asks me to make mine and this is the crux of the dream. In the dream, I am as crazy in love with him as I was when we were together and I want to go. But I have my husband with whom I have lived and known all these years and he knows about the decision and he will not ask me to stay nor give me an easy out. I have to decide.

I have to decide between a lifetime relationship of ups and downs, ins and outs, happiness, sadness, frustration, beautiful events and a new life with an old love which is, really, just a memory of good things I recall. That is what memory does. It fades til there are only the good things left. But I believe if I go, I will be blissfully happy. I believe if I stay, it is truly the right thing to do.

What did I do? What would you do?

What Women Desire

Oprah is promoting her show today with the headline "What Women Desire". I love that lead! It conjures so many possibilities and it gives me pause.

I am desirous of so many things. For example, I would like my once svelte & athletic physical body back; I would like to never worry about money again; I would like world peace; I would like one more great romance; I would like to be a published writer... and so on. Those are just the things I can think of right now.

Some days, I desire only to be left alone to enjoy my solitude; I desire to sign a large new advertiser; I desire a new car; I desire happiness and joy for my sons. We are complicated creatures and none of us is static. If we are, we die.

"What Women Desire" is probably a different consideration than the one posed in the Mel Gibson movie, "What Women Want". That was all about women from the male point of view; the man's confusion and attempt to sort through the mixed messages received. I think women know what they want at the time they want it. We are as adept at multi-wants or desires as we are at multi-tasking. Are desire and want the same thing? The words are somewhat interchangeable but I prefer to think of want as a demand and desire as a need. Like, in the movie, it's more about women making demands until the guy puts aside his insecurity, starts to really listen and learns what the true desire/want of his boss cum love object is. But, perhaps I split hairs?