Had cataract surgery on my right eye Monday and , thus far, it is not the "cakewalk" everyone said it would be. In fact, it was downright disconcerting.
The prep involved 3 days of 2 prescrips of eye drops 3x daily (try remembering THAT) and the damn drops were $119!!! My first clue. Then no eating past Midnight, no liquids next AM & the surgery wasn't til 1:30pm. I was starving.
Pre-op was fun (not). They put a little gown & hair net on me, hooked me to a heart monitor (HEART MONITOR??), stuck an IV in, ouch, and sat me in a weird looking chair, like an old barbershop chair, very uncomfortable. The nurse proceeds to tell me I'm their "pediatric patient of the day."
I looked at her and said, "What does that mean?"
"Oh, you're so young! We usually have patients in the 70s & 80s!"
"How many do you guys do a day?" I queried, now irritable.
"On an average day, twelve. Busy day, sixteen."
Holy shit! I was in a factory!
They wheeled me into a freezing cold room adjacent to the OR. Yes, this place has an OR. There I sat freezing my ass off til they put a blanket over me. I waited a good (or was it bad?) 20 minutes more til they took me into OR. The IV was attached to a sedative, the chair was tilted backward to an uncomfortable (for me) position and the doc proceeded to go to town. Sometime in the midst of the procedure, which was very uncomfortable & nerve wracking, the dr starts yelling (yes YELLING)
"Get more anesthetic into her! She's wiggling all over the place!"
Okay, now I'm really nervous. WTF is going on? I'm trying to talk & he tells me not to.
By the time it's done, I'm a veggie from the extra anesthetic and I can't see anything. They wheel me back to the Pre & Post Op room & my husband comes in and the doctor proceeds to tell us the surgery did not go off without a hitch. That hitch being he pierced the vitreous fluid sac and it's his fault, hasn't had a mis-step in a long time an the worst case scenario is I get a "detached retina" down the road. He's very sorry. He said I wasn't anesthetized enough. I will get a different anesthetic for the next one.
I am not feeling the love here. In fact, I'm pissed. But, I'm too gorked to be pissed so I let my husband deal with it. They give me the old person sunglasses; the ones that wrap around every conceivable space light might enter and a clear plastic eye patch which is taped to my eye. I'm to wear it the rest of the day and every night for a week. I look absurd, I really cannot see and I'm unsteady on my feet.
Next morning we go back, the doc examines the eye & says "...it looks like a normal post op cataract eye." They give me more eye drops, instructions to now use them 4x per day and off we go.
Right now, I'm headed back to see him again. I have all kinds of swirlies, my vision still isn't clear, I'm not driving & I feel pressure in my eye. I wasn't supposed to see him again for a week but he said "Come on over."
Speaking of over, that's what I want this to be.