Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Nothing Like a Good One Liner!

 February 28, 2011

Unemployment Rose Last Week By Two and a Half Men


Jobs ‘Gone Forever,’ Says Labor Department

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – The economic recovery received an unexpected jolt today as the Labor Department announced that unemployment increased last week by two and a half men.
The 2.5 jobs were lost in the Los Angeles, California area and are “gone forever,” a Labor Department spokesman said in a surprisingly downbeat assessment.

But in a possible boost for the California economy, pharmaceutical giant Pfizer today announced plans to begin marketing a new blockbuster drug called Charlie Sheen.

A bill is already moving through the California State Assembly that would make the drug Charlie Sheen legal for medicinal purposes.

But Carol Foyler, a spokesman for a leading antidrug group in the state, warns that legalizing Charlie Sheen could have “disastrous effects.”

The drug Charlie Sheen is a gateway drug that leads to harder stuff, like the drug Mel Gibson,” she said.

In other news, the big winner at the Academy Awards was James Franco’s dealer.



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11 comments:

mermaid gallery said...

yup, Charlie finally lost it and the media are going to have fun...can't blame them...he is such a schmuck! I have witnessed other people with liver disease and when the liver can't process the ammonia any more it floods the brain and makes that person crazy. Charlie's liver is talking.....there is a lot of ammonia swishing around his brain right now.....

DJan said...

OH, you are funny! But I'm sick of the Sheen coverage, that guy is really sick...

Grandmother said...

What's sad is that treatment works and he needs treatment. The liver heals, the ammonia levels fall to normal, recovery is possible. Addiction is a deadly disease that claims too many lives. Get help.

Honest Abe Lincoln said...

I echo DJan...

RNSANE said...

I think it's time Charlie Sheen is held accountable for his behavior. He is really sounding bizarre and out of control!

Stephanie said...

Mermaid galley's perspective was very interesting. Explains how Sheen was able to pass drug tests.

California Girl said...

Stephanie, I thought she made a great deal of sense as well. His logic is non-existent and he acts grandiose. You cannot escape all the hype about this guy. I'm not even watching the tv shows etc but I use Twitter to promote the tv station for whom I work & it is non-stop Charlie Sheen lately. Wow! Jayne of jaynesworld.blogspot.com said he was already up to one million followers on Twitter. I think that's a record because it happened in a week's time (or so).

Baino said...

Ha! Yep all over the news here but really? Time to go I think. I couldn't believe what he was being paid for that show.

Ruth said...

You can escape it if you don't watch TV, twitter or facebook. :-)

But these are pretty clever one liners, I must say. As my husband said, you get successful, make it big, have anything you want, and then you go throw it away.

injaynesworld said...

BAHAHAHAHA!! Oh, this is a good one.

And I hear he's up to 2 million Twitter followers now. Because hey -- who doesn't love a good train wreck.

Please God, let him start dating Snooki.

Susan said...

LMAO!

Gawd, he's making an appearance in Columbus and the tickets have been selling like hotcakes...yeah, they're like that here. :/

Christina

Christina
by Cole Scott