Thursday, July 23, 2009

Friends Indeed Part 2

My husband wrote this to include in all the thank you notes we will now write.

"Friends in need" may be "friends indeed" but friends in a time of need are truly the best friends. My sincere thanks, to one and all, for your kind thoughts and gentle words.

My Father's Service:

Given his lifelong lack of religiosity, we decided to celebrate my father's passing into the Great Beyond with a "Bon Voyage" party, rather than through a more traditional service. Monday night, thirty or so people gathered in remembrance. We ate good food, drank expensive booze, and thumbed through photos and memories (mostly true) from back in the day. The life and times of my father were well represented. When it came time to pop the corks on the champagne and offer a toast to the man and his times, his presence was palpable.

My father's favorite author was Oscar Wilde. As part of Monday's sendoff, I spent some time gathering quotes from the author that seemed to best represent his life view. I hope that those of you who knew him well concur with my choices.

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.

I can resist anything but temptation.

Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.

I love acting. It is so much more real than life.

Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

A fond d'adieu, avec un bon voyage et plein de bonne fois papa.
(I don't think resting in peace is in the cards).


Lorna said...

Dear California Girl.... It's incredible, the things I read in your blog that somehow resonate very strongly.

I agree with your husband's words on Friends and Friends in Need and Friends in time of need.

And I have always liked Oscar Wilde. I don't know whether you or your husband do, but I sure do.

I keep my husband's ashes in a beautiful carved wooden box. He was Catholic, believed in God, and was claustrophobic and did not want a burial.

My best to you and a hug for your husband.


Nancy said...

This all sounds like a wonderful tribute to your father-in-law. He must have been a great guy to have garnered so much love. RIP

Ruth said...

This post feels like a comfortable room. Well your FIL feels that way, if these quotes are like him. The longer I live, the fonder I am of age and what it does to people, if they let it. Letting go of judgment, chilling out, looking for connection instead of perfection - I wonder if you husband's dad understood that all his life, or if he figured it out as time went on. I feel so old to be learning such things.

What a treasure he is.

Auntie, aka Dog Girl said...

What a loving tribute to your FIL.
I could only hope for one like that when I pass away.
Hugs to both you and Hubby.

Susan said...

Can I get your husband to write my obit some day? I love all the quotes from Wilde, especially the one about children. It is so true.

This was just lovely.

California Girl said...

Hi Lorna: maybe it's the Cali connection? Actually, we both do love Oscar Wilde. I was a British Lit freak, graduating with a B.A. in English Lit. I think it's nice you keep your husband's ashes in a carved box. The first time I saw human ashes was when my husband brought home a bit of his uncle. They looked like sea shells.

Nancy: He certainly made his mark in the world.

Ruth: I only know this, the older I am, the less I know. As for treasures, my husband is the real treasure here!!! Thank you for the kind words.

Auntie: thank you and hugs back.

Susan: send me the copy points and I'll ask. :)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for visiting my birds blog and for the inquiry you made there.

Yes, the birds you see on that blog were all photographed in my back yard. I live in a small city (Brookville, Ohio) and I have a small backyard. When we moved into this new house in 1962, I began trying to make the back into a wildlife habitat and sanctuary. It took years of trying and digging up and planting to come up with something that works for the most birds most of the time. We have had Coopers Hawks up until February of this year when I think the last family migrated south for the winter and they never came back. I have yet to see a hawk this summer. But then I have not seen any butterflies or many of the other birds. I blame this all on Global Warming and think it will get worse before it gets better if it ever gets back to normal.

I hope you are able to return some day and see what I have on Pick a Peck of Pixels.

I enjoyed your post today and thanks again.

Betsy said...

What a lovely way to remember him! I like the idea of the casual, memories and laughter. The words your husband put together for the thank you notes is perfect!

Baino said...

A wonderful way to celebrate a life, particularly for someone who isn't too religious. He would have been proud of the send-off, I'm sure. Very sad but wonderful nonetheless.

California Girl said...

Abe: your blogs are all wonderful and I'll be back.

Betsy: Thank you! Today we write the thank yous to all who came or wrote cards.

Baino: yes it was. thank you. xo

Reya Mellicker said...

I'm so sorry for your loss (and your husband's). What a beautiful tribute!

Friends are wonderful, it's true, and never better than during a time of grieving.

lettuce said...

i'm sorry to read about your family's loss. It sounds like a wonderful celebration and farewell

Ima Wizer said...

This is such a loving tribute. A man who had so many who really, truly loved him...we should all be so lucky!

Deboshree said...

A very different way of doing things but lovely none the less.
I'm sure if he were watching from above, he would be touched beyond measure.
Thanks for dropping by my friend.


California Girl said...

Reya: Thank you. I hope you are doing better.

Lettuce: Thank you. It was great.

Ima: Thank you, that is so nice.

Debo: Thank you and ditto.


by Cole Scott