Monday, January 18, 2010

A Thought A Day

This came to me via email.  It is one of those "lists" that may or may not be funny.  However, I found it funny and was compelled to add my own comments in red, which I forwarded to my friends...and now you. 

A Thought a Day for February

  1. Don't you wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.yes, last time I was in LA, I got off in Compton to get gas.  I didn't know it was Compton.  I was on fumes.  Had a run in w/ a gang banger.  Didn't know he was a gang banger.  Just thought he was some ass hole and told him to "fuck off".  Lucky for me there were alot of witnesses in that gas station.

 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.  Yes, this often happens with Scott and/or the boys.  You don't see any of them in the address section of this email because they would then know.

 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I  didn't want to nap when I  was younger.  All I want to do is nap!

4. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard.  This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will  never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.   Had to read this 3x before I got it which probably makes me the word with the "t" in it.

5. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.  I would seriously abuse it.

6. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on when  I first saw it.  OMG!  This is SO true!  I mean, I thought "The Godfather" characters had integrity!  And how about "2001"?  I saw that at the drive in with my first serious boyfriend.  All we did was make out.  My girlfriend, in the back seat with her then boyfriend, was so drunk she got a Sugar Daddy candy in her hair which her mother had to cut to get it out.  Long story short, when I saw that movie again twenty years later, it made no sense whatsoever to me.  And how about "Planet of the Apes..."?

7. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?  I still don't know.

8. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand  than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.  Yes and it's pathetic, especially when the plastic sack with my wine breaks!

9. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately  clear your computer history if you die.  In the interest of saving a great many feelings, I agree.

10. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying  to finish a text.  I don't text when I drive.  I put on makeup, look at my checkbook and scan the radio.  

11. Was learning cursive really necessary?  My handwriting now resembles bird claw prints.

12. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom  and hunger.  I don't even try.  I always defer to hunger.

13. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just  nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?  My husband uses this ploy alot.  I, on the other hand, try not to do it because my clients will just think I'm old and out of it.

14. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent an idiot from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters !  That must happen more in CA than back east.  People here are idiots.

15. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.  I agree.

16. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.  I always wonder how the person died!

17. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.  At least until you start wearing Depends.

18. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.  Boy is that the truth.

19. Bad decisions and bad experiences make good stories.  Yes they do but I'm keeping mine to myself.

20. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?  No, it's not just me, high school girls & older ARE getting sluttier.

21. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.  And I find it occurring earlier & earlier each day.

 22. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. no comment.  am afraid I'll jinx myself.

23. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. better to be safe than sorry.

24. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.  I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks this.

25. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hatedrivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always  hate cyclists.    We live in a resort area filled with cyclist 9 mos out of 12 and they make us all nervous, crazy and not a little bit pissed off when they veer into the road or ride 5 abreast. 

26. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.  I stopped wearing one.

27. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.  LOL.

28. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know whom not to answer when they call.  Welllll, not reaallly.


Susan said...

OMG, I haven't laughed that loud in ages! I'm seriously thinking about stealing this...there's nothing I like better than a great snark-o-rama! LOL

California Girl said...

Do it! I thought about leaving it open ended and doing as a meme but I hate memes so I just published what I'd sent around to my good friends, all of whom know me too well. The responses were good so decided to post it.

Minka said...

Gosh! This is so true! Well, most of it! Why would ANYONE refuse to take a nap? Save changes? The one time I am not in doubt and choose NO right away, I remember I should have changed them. No. 24 - the same goes for the home - once you clean it, no one wuill como for a visit. You make a mess and people start turning up without you knowing ahead.
Except for the phone - I don't correct some of the names just so that I call some old friends by mistake from time to time which I otherwise wouldn't.

California Girl said...

I always like your point of view, Minka. You say it like it is.

Minka said...


Ima Wizer said...

It's terrific! I laughed alla way through it!

California Girl said...

We all need constant laughs these days.


by Cole Scott