Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Friday Nights, Part 2

In May 2008, I wrote a post about Friday night get-togethers with my girlfriends, a weekly occurrence taking place during my twenties. It is a special memory because of the camaraderie and support these Friday nights engendered. These were therapeutic social gatherings arranged around wine, women & food. We listened to each other's stories, gave opinions, advice, counsel and were generally able to solve much with a great deal of laughter and gravitas combined. It was heaven.

One of the questions I ask in the post is "Why don't I re-establish Friday nights?" I would love to but am not so sure it would least where I now live. I question how forthcoming most of us are in our middle years. I know many of you are very forthcoming and yet... In those days, everyone blabbed about everything going on in their lives: sex, partners, job issues, family issues, sex. Not so sure that kind of honesty would be as easy now. We have so many to whom we feel obligated to protect.

For many of us, blogging is our Friday night opportunity to tell stories, give opinions and help one another. And it is not limited to women only. I want male readers to weigh in with their perspective. I find blogging an amazing way to reach out. It's cathartic. I'm searching for a way to make it even more interactive and instructive.

All ideas are welcome.


Lover of Life said...

Yep, blogging has become our way of getting together with like-minded people. I can't wait for your ideas. I'm kind of wondering the same thing. I'm noodling on a few myself. When they become more clear - we need to talk!

Lover of Life said...

P.S. I wonder why this post didn't show up on my blog roll as a new post??? I responded because of your comment on mine. Hmmmm

California Girl said...

I've spent hours trying to figure that out and to no avail. I notice on your blog that Women of A Certain Age is now updating but Emtpy Nest Evolution still looks like I haven't posted in 11 mos.

tut-tut said...

I agree about blogging being a way to connect. I'm most interested in the give and take, the "penpal" aspect of it. You bring up some interesting concepts.

I've also been having problems with those I'm following not showing up, or being put in my spam. don't know what is up.

soapymomponders said...

I love blogging! I never did "girls' night out" on a regular basis because my husband worked 2nd shift and I had 3 small kids at home. Now that they're grown, but one lives with us, I find myself doing the blogging routine instead and hoping to connect with other people out there. My social circle is fairly small so hopeful this will expand it.

Ruth said...

I so agree with you. Blogging is the salon with tea and crocheting - something I experienced when I lived in Istanbul, which was about 50 years "behind" the U.S. in that regard. I think they were just right.

California Girl said...

Hi tut-tut:nice to hear from you! Yes the perils of feedburner seem to be thwarting my attempts to reach out to more readers via the Reader and or Followers. It's a pain. Apparently now my own image as a follower doesn't show up!

soapymomponders: great profile name! Welcome and thank you for reading my blog.

Ruth: a salon is a nice analogy. very apt. Thank you!

Susan said...

I've never had the "Girls on Friday" thing, but my best friend and I have a girls weekend every year and, boy oh boy, do we dish! One weekend really isn't enough, but she still has a young teen at home with issues, so it's a big deal for her to arrange for other care.

Blogging was such a wonderful discovery for me. Finally, a way to express myself through words and photography. And I've met such wonderful friends.

It is difficult to revisit a feeling of oneness that you had in your twenties with girlfriends. Everyone's lives are different and you're right, we have obligations to our loved ones not to tell all.

I've tried to add you to my blogroll, but it doesn't show up like the rest. Also, your image isn't showing up on my Follow list either. I'm not seeing anyone's images on my Comments pop-out. What's going on with blogger?

Susan said...

I finally got your blog on my roll! But like you said, your most recent post isn't showing up. Weird!

verification word: flatchra? funny!

California Girl said...

Thanks for Following me. Sorry about the technical difficulties with Blogger, Feedburner & Google Reader. They are all Google so the problem is somewhere within. I just can't find it and the more I work on it the more problems I seem to create. This stuff is not for the faint of heart or internet challenged!

I have missed those Friday nights for years and as I am still friends with two of the other women, they miss them too. Unfortunately, the three of us are at opposite ends of the country so we can't do it. A four died a numbeer of years ago and we miss her every day. Sigh.

ArtSparker said...

My sister's husband who is a few years older than me now has skype (as my sister is off doing volunteer work in Argentina for a few months). He tells me that phones now seem medieval to him - tangential, I know, just a randomish thought about keeping in touch.

California Girl said...

I think Skype is a good idea with pretty good visuals and, if we were still in the habit of Friday nights instead of it being a 20+ years ago habit, we would try it. However, we've been apart a long time and we now content ourselves with once a year visits. I usually go home and see most of my friends. Next month I'm going to Florida to see one of the Friday night girls.

ellen abbott said...

I do yoga once a week with girlfriends, not a large group but having my girl time is just as important as the yoga.

I started a blog in January about my life and it's three major themes right life as an artist, my (our) transition from city mice to country mice, and my love of nature which is my spiritual base.

BTW, your posts showed up for me.

California Girl said...

hello e.a.: thank you for visiting and sharing. i like the yoga idea. that is very healthy and positive. so you are a country mouse now. well, it's a "good thing" as Martha would say.

glad my posts are showing up for now. we'll see what develops.

Tanna said...

Hey, California Girl! Thank you for missing me of late... life has been hectic.

This post says it. I sometimes just long for those times with friends that were so uninhibited and honest. We shared life... literally.

Now, it seems we are all spread to the wind... and those that are close are so busy all the time... and, we protect. It seems that our own stories are no longer only our own... we have strong webs woven over time... our families.

I miss those times with my friends... very much. Thank you for giving me a place to express that and know it is heard.

California Girl said...

Tanna! So happy you are back! Enjoyed your son's birthday cake post. Yum!

Anonymous said...

I've been active on Facebook a little over a month or so. I've enjoyed reconnecting with some good friends in CA and some I haven't talked to in years. However most of my old friends and family do not go online much :(
Facebook uses real names and so the atmosphere is different than MySpace. I like the way on FB you can share small bits and pieces and comment easily etc. It's a very convenient way to say hey I just tried this new whatever and it's great or bad or whatever. It's more like a conversation.

I think women of our age are able to be transparent and say what they need to say if they trust the people they are with. That can be difficult if you've moved to a new area and have to start over. It took me a long time - years - to get to know people when I moved here.

California Girl said...

My mother is from Indianapolis. I used to travel there with her when I was young. Loved her family. There were so many of them. Unfortunately, much of the glue holding the family together (Mother, her aunt, her cousin) have passed and the second cousins live all over the country.

don't know why I got off on THAT tangent except I visited your profile pg to see where you now live. Not sure where Sellersburg is in relation to Indnpls.

FB too much for me. Plus, my husband has scared me you know what less for years about putting info on the web.


by Cole Scott