Friday Nights

When I was in my late twenties, newly divorced and on my own again, I worked in the Fotomat marketing department in San Diego. It was the most fun job I ever had in my favorite city in the U.S. Everyone in marketing (except our two bosses) was a twenty-something. Most were single or divorced; all of us were party animals. My favorite night of the week was Friday. My girlfriends and I would get together at someone's house, drink wine to discuss our issues: man issues, work issues, life issues. By unspoken consent, the rest would listen, discuss, then give advice. It was therapy. It was better than therapy! I know. I've seen my share of therapists over the years.

No matter the issue, we had support. If one of the women was in a bad relationship, we'd counsel her out of it. If someone had self-esteem issues, we'd build her up. If someone needed to talk frankly to the boss who was hitting on her, we'd role play it out. Oh yes. It was therapeutic and it worked.

I have alot of friends and I've made alot of friends over the years. But I've never enjoyed the working rapport I experienced during those still youthful enough-to -make-serious-mistakes days. Friends who care are the most valuable of all. They can save your job, your relationship, even your life.

Why don't I re-establish Friday nights with my current friends? We all have issues that need dealing with! Well, I guess everyone is just too busy to commit. On occasion, we do have group discussions that include our husbands. But it's not the same. I love the camaraderie women have. We can and do discuss anything and everything. Nothing is sacred. Men aren't like that. They have verboten topics like income, sexual prowess or intimacy (or lack thereof),depression, whether or not they are working,stuff like that. They simply hate it when their wives, girlfriends, significant others discuss these topics. You can't be honest with each other when men are around!

However, I do think, as time goes on, these valuable get-togethers will re-convene. Women need each other. They need the nurturing, the insight, the comfort, the honesty...the Friday nights.