Saturday, July 5, 2008

Time in a Bottle... or maybe a bell jar

There is a popular commercial about "time in a bottle" right now that should be about some anti aging formula but is, instead, about a popular anti-histamine pill. Every time I see the beginning of this ad, when the woman remarks how she's found time in a bottle, I think how great it would be. Then they identify the product and I wonder what stupid ad person came up with that? Had to be a guy. Women don't think that way.

I'm struggling with my own sense of time passing right now. I'm attending my high school reunion this year and it is some kind of process to go through. It's like getting ready for the start thinking about the dress, the hair, the shoes at least a year out. If you're overweight, you diet. If you have acne, you try to clear up your face. If you have a network of friends, you find out who's going and arrange to go together and sit together for dinner and what not. My husband is not going with me. A number of my closest friends aren't going. But a number of them are. My high school boyfriend may go. And I'll see a number of people I haven't seen since the last one I attended, the 25th. Oh, did I mention this is the 40th?

I heard from my best male friend in high school today. He's not going. He says he wants to see me but doesn't think he's ready to deal with the "catastrophic realities" of his life right now. Inotherwords, he's not where he thought he would be at this point in time. I understand his pain. I don't know if anyone is where they thought they would be. I'm sure some people are but I'm betting more of us are not. Why? Money, looks, health, life...Man makes plans and God laughs. I think three of my close girlfriends aren't going because they don't like how they look, don't want to face up to who they were in high school (vs who they are now) or they're not anxious to see their old friends 40 years older. I've already gone through that, the stages of dealing with it all. It's like the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, grieving, acceptance. You really have to go through it to come out whole on the other side. After all, you are still you. The vessel may have shifted but the spirit is never changing.

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by Cole Scott