Nothing Like a Good One Liner!

 February 28, 2011

Unemployment Rose Last Week By Two and a Half Men


Jobs ‘Gone Forever,’ Says Labor Department

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – The economic recovery received an unexpected jolt today as the Labor Department announced that unemployment increased last week by two and a half men.

The 2.5 jobs were lost in the Los Angeles, California area and are “gone forever,” a Labor Department spokesman said in a surprisingly downbeat assessment.

But in a possible boost for the California economy, pharmaceutical giant Pfizer today announced plans to begin marketing a new blockbuster drug called Charlie Sheen.

A bill is already moving through the California State Assembly that would make the drug Charlie Sheen legal for medicinal purposes.

But Carol Foyler, a spokesman for a leading antidrug group in the state, warns that legalizing Charlie Sheen could have “disastrous effects.”

The drug Charlie Sheen is a gateway drug that leads to harder stuff, like the drug Mel Gibson,” she said.

In other news, the big winner at the Academy Awards was James Franco’s dealer.

Charlize Theron & Keanu Reeves Share Long Hug & Kiss

I know, not my usual fare in "Women of" but there is a personal reason for posting this.



Here's a sidebar to this story...my girlfriend and her party were kicked out of their table to accommodate Keanu & Charlize. How funny is that? Hollywood priorities. It's why I no longer live in SoCal.

In case you're wondering, my girlfriend said "...it was obvious they are merely friends."