Saturday, June 5, 2010

That, My Friends, Is Love

My husband and I are attending a wedding today.  It's being held outdoors as is the reception.  Since it's the bride's third marriage, it's not a formal affair but one does need something nice to wear.


Last Wednesday, returning from our trip to the coast of Maine, we stopped at a mall so I could look for a nice summer dress.  We went to The Loft, the Ann Taylor store of less expensive frocks.  My husband has great taste and he began to pick out dresses and tops he liked. I was hoping to wear a size 10 as I've been on this workout/nutrition plan since March and, per my post of  May 7th, I had lost 8 inches & 3 lbs.  Well, the 10s were still out of reach but I thought the size 12, which I've been wearing, would work.

Anyone who has ever shopped Ann Taylor knows they run small.  I say this not because I'm trying to lose weight but as a former devotee of all things Ann.  The clothes run small whether you're a 6 or a 12. I have been both.  Suffice to say, the two dresses he and I liked most did not fit my hips in a size 12.  He wanted me to go up a size.  I refused.  My sales girl, a young, sweet and quite helpful soul, thought I looked good in the 12. And I did.  But it was literally squeezed over me after she'd helped me into a body slimming piece of underwear.  Wearing dresses tight and accentuating curves is the style right now and I have curves galore.  Luckily my bosom balances out my ass.   But from the standpoint of comfort, the dress was killing me. 

An older (my age), wiser sales lady took over from mine when she went on a break.  At this point, I was sweating profusely and had to sit down in the dressing room to keep from fainting.  I think I was having an anxiety attack.  Nothing fit and I felt terrible about myself.  I mean, what was the point?  I looked in the mirror and I saw flab and fat; not the newly redesigned body I've been molding.  She sensed my despair as did my husband who took off for the sales floor to pick up a beautiful blouse for me to try.  He brought it back to me and it looked pretty.

He said, ""Wear this with a pair of black slacks and a long strand of pearls.  It'll look great."

I was mollified enough to agree and we walked towards the sales counter.  En route, he picked up a gorgeous piece of costume jewelry to compliment the top.  I agreed with him and we were suddenly enveloped by several older, well dressed, very kind sales "ladies" who wrapped and untangled and soothed me.  I walked out with my purchases, holding hands with my husband, thanking him for his kindness.

Later that day, while unpacking at home, I thanked him again for helping me out.  He turned to me and said,

"After all you went through in there, I wanted you to walk out with something.  I wanted you to feel it was worth it.  I wanted you to feel good."

You know what?  I did and I do!  Isn't he the guy?  This is what love is really about.

Artwork by Laura Trevey.

26 comments:

Cynthia S. said...

Yes!! What a guy! Wise choice. (-;

JC said...

Do I ever know how you feel. Went shopping yesterdat at J Jill. Wanted new linen shorts and some of their easy pants they advertise on line. Since I've gained a few lbs I thought I better try on a few things. YIKES ... the pants fit but there are bumps on the side .. if you know what I mean. Thus, I got the two tops and left.

And, it does sound like you have a very nice fellow ...

dutchbaby said...

You have a gem of a husband!

I bought a beautiful two-piece ensemble in my size at Ann Taylor years ago. It looked like something Jackie Kennedy might have worn. It was a tad short and a tad tight, but I bought it anyway because the next size up was too roomy. I wore that outfit maybe three times to work but I never felt comfortable in it. Because it was snug, the skirt rode up a little more than it should have. The top was ever-so-slightly too tight and I felt that some of my male colleagues were no longer looking into my eyes when I talked to them. It killed me to give away the outfit but I deemed it inappropriate to wear, especially in a corporate setting. Since then, I've gone in to try on a few more Ann Taylor outfits and I finally decided that I don't fit into their cut of clothes. Shame, because I really like their colors and clean tailored look.

RNSANE said...

It sounds like you really chose well in the husband department. That guy is definitely a keeper! Have a great time at the wedding.
Heck, so many husbands won't even shop with their wives!


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Vicki Lane said...

A great guy! And I'll bet you enjoy the wedding all the more because you look great AND are comfortable.

jeannette said...

To be loved by another human being like this, is a thousand times more worth than your dress size, pretty girl!!

Judy said...

Smiling :)

maggie's garden said...

What a wonderful man you have. Does he have a single brother? Say 50 something? giggles.
Glad you were able to find something to wear for such a special occasion...have fun.

Baino said...

Well I just hope pictures are forthcoming?

injaynesworld said...

Couldn't agree more. What a guy. You give my cynical heart hope.

California Girl said...

Thank you all for commenting on this. I felt strongly about his kindness and had to write about it. He drives me to distraction most of the time but that probably comes with growing up together and knowing how to push one another's buttons. He is, however, caring and gentle and really does want me to feel good about my self. I have to remember that. This experience exemplifies it.

Nancy Peterson said...

That was great support on his part. Seems like most guys wouldn't know what to do or say, but he did great. Celebrate that all over again when you wear your new blouse and jewelry to the wedding!

Deborah said...

I hope he read this post - it's a love letter to someone who cares a great deal about you. Very few men would have that kind of sensitivity and ability to see things from a woman's perspective. Very nice story, very nice guy. Take heart - the slower the process in your fitness program, the more likely you'll be able to hang on to the results. Enjoy the wedding!

Ruth said...

What a god-save moment. I love him.

There is nothing worse than fitting room mirrors, I'm utterly convinced of it. I have gone through the same thing, feeling good about myself after working out hard, then seeing myself in those awful lights and wondering what I'd been doing through all that blood sweat and tears? Well the tears come after seeing myself in those mirrors. Anyway, I just love how he took charge, and I can imagine how lovely you looked at the wedding.

I was very disappointed when I went to our mall recently to go to Ann Taylor, and it was gone, empty! We still have the Loft store, but I used to love Ann's tops on sale.

California Girl said...

Nancy: thank you for visiting and commenting. He is very supportive when it comes to this diet. He also has the artist eye for clothing.

Deborah: He is sitting right here and I've read the responses to him as they've been added. He is surprised by the kudos to his behavior but I told him at the outset women would respond favorably and quite a bit.

Ruth: Yes, I love him too.

California Girl said...

Just re-read the nice comments.

Maggie: he doesn't have a brother, I'm sorry to say. he has one ornery sister whom neither of us understand.

Grandmother said...

Yes, he's a gem and that is what love's all about!

Susan Erickson said...

Hope the wedding went well...they are always such fun! It is frustrating how we try so hard to look better and yet we still look a little too comfortable...Better than the too skinny look! The mate is definately a keeper. Nice guys are hard to find.....happiness is always the best look!

Mama Zen said...

Now, that's a real man!

Judy ~ My Front Porch said...

I had to smile. I know about those 'dressing room marathons'...and usually leave empty-handed. You have a great guy!

Marguerite said...

You are a lucky woman to have such a dear, sweet husband! Most men are totally useless, when it comes to shopping. Hope you have a wonderful time at the wedding!

Betsy said...

He's a keeper FOR SURE! :)

Abraham Lincoln said...

My poor pop was married at least 5 times. Him and my mom got together in 1930 and in 1934 I was born and not long after that he and my mom were divorced.

Neither one of them had any special kind of weddings and none in a church, and maybe that was what was wrong with both of them and left them in a wedded lurch.

California Girl said...

Grandmother: thank you. I'll pass along to him.

Susan E: the wedding was fun. the reception last six hours. it was incredibly festive. they served hors d'ouerves, then a full meal, then unbelievable desserts. Band played and lots of dancing.

Mama Zen: Oh, he's REAL all right!

Judy: yes he was right although at the time I rather thought he was placating me. He wasn't.

Marguerite: "totally useless" I like that! hahahahaha!

Betsy: thanks. I'll tell him.

Abe: I had to read your comment several times to figure out if you were kidding or not. I guess it's because your second paragraph rhymes and I thought you were waxing poetic.

Ms. Gibson said...

Wow. What a Good Egg, your husband. So patient and kind...

Susan said...

Well, I don't know about choosing clothing, but you sure chose well in the husband department! I'm with Ruth...I love him, too!

Gawd, I hate trying on clothes! It is the most stressful way to occupy what could have been a leisurely shopping trip. Even when I was at my thinnest five years ago and was wearing size 10s, I still hated the way my body looked in those godawful mirrors.

I shopped yesterday for something, anything to wear to a wedding in August. I finally found a skirt (too big) and a top at Macy's. The skirt is cotton, so I'm thinking if I wash it first, it will shrink to my size, so I don't have to have it altered. I usually look horrible in skirts, but this one is actually flattering, well, as much as my body can be flattered. Now if I can just figure out what to do about my hair that's giving me fits. Bleh.

Christina

Christina
by Cole Scott