Friday, April 3, 2009

What Women Desire

Oprah is promoting her show today with the headline "What Women Desire". I love that lead! It conjures so many possibilities and it gives me pause.

I am desirous of so many things. For example, I would like my once svelte & athletic physical body back; I would like to never worry about money again; I would like world peace; I would like one more great romance; I would like to be a published writer... and so on. Those are just the things I can think of right now.

Some days, I desire only to be left alone to enjoy my solitude; I desire to sign a large new advertiser; I desire a new car; I desire happiness and joy for my sons. We are complicated creatures and none of us is static. If we are, we die.

"What Women Desire" is probably a different consideration than the one posed in the Mel Gibson movie, "What Women Want". That was all about women from the male point of view; the man's confusion and attempt to sort through the mixed messages received. I think women know what they want at the time they want it. We are as adept at multi-wants or desires as we are at multi-tasking. Are desire and want the same thing? The words are somewhat interchangeable but I prefer to think of want as a demand and desire as a need. Like, in the movie, it's more about women making demands until the guy puts aside his insecurity, starts to really listen and learns what the true desire/want of his boss cum love object is. But, perhaps I split hairs?


R.L. Bourges said...

I agree. Desire and want are different places completely. Want strikes me as more on the physical level - be it wanting something as necessary as food or as frivolous as a pretty object. The pull of want feels stronger in the short term and just disappears once the wanting is satisfied. Desire is another animal altogether - more related to the heart, the soul and our dreams. Anyway, that's how it seems to me. Call me a hair-splitter too, that's ok. :-)


Reya Mellicker said...

I think want is more superficial, desire is a deeper thing. Want can be a mind game, desire fills the whole body.

The Buddhists say that desire is a trap, that it binds us. It's an interesting project for me at least to admit to all these desires, yet then try to release my grip on them.

Strenuous work, but interesting.

Lover of Life said...

I desire some of your desires, but fight with it like Reya does.

California Girl said...

RL, LOL, Reya:
In re-reading what I wrote, I should have edited to read, "I want a new car", "I want to sign a new large advertiser", "I desire happiness and joy for my sons" and so on. I think you know what I mean. I had the right tone but was in a rush to post and kinda blew my point.

Deboshree said...

hey there..stumbled upon your blog through lover of life's list.

Interesting read^_^

As for want and desire, I feel want is something which does not go as deep as desire. Desire is something which will always be present in our mind and soul,sometimes even fill our very being.

California Girl said...

Welcome to my blog and thank you for your many comments. This post seems to have the ladies thinking a bit on perceived differences between want and desire and it sounds as though everyone agrees that want is more superficial and desire goes deep. Another round table discussion!

shadow said...


I think men and women desire alot, but still not sure if they realy know what they want...
Maybe better comunication between sexes, maybe knowing ourselves better would help finding what we all realy want...
As for men i think we women have alot of trouble understanding what they want... ( I'm positive it's the same things...)

Big kiss to all..


California Girl said...

Shadow: what do men want? sex and a good meal, right? hahahhahaaha! Well, that's what THEY say anyway. Welcome to my blog!!!!


by Cole Scott