My best friend and I just made a commitment to take some time over this three day weekend to talk about how we are dealing with aging. She's on the West Coast and I'm in New England so we're going to plan a call.
This came from an idea my therapist put forth that I need to get my feelings about the loss of my looks and my figure and my youth out on the table. He feels I bury them and do not give them credence. He asked if I have someone with whom I could discuss them and I said "Only my husband but he really gets tired of hearing about it." He asked about my girlfriends in New England. I replied they are all younger than I and at different stages in their lives. The best situation for me would be to have a get together with my oldest friends as we are all very close in age.
At first I was resistant to this idea. I said I felt I should be "able to handle it." He looked amused and asked if I felt I should be "above it all" and I said "Yes." I find it humiliating to be so hung up on my looks. It's so shallow. Never mind I was born and raised in Los Angeles, the capital of superficial. But he was very insistent that I am not alone and by talking about it with others I will find we all have similar feelings of loss and sadness and confusion, etc. I think he likens it to a grieving process.
So, this morning I emailed my best friend and mentioned the discussion with him just to see what she'd say. She has always been a pragmatic person and I expected some kind of sage response. Instead she replied,
"I think I need a chat about all this too. It is very hard...losing your looks, losing your body, your health. When shall we chat?"
Wow! Not only was I surprized but I feel expectant, that is, looking forward to it.
I'll keep you posted.