Saturday, June 13, 2009

What Dreams Are Made Of

A recent post discussed conflicting feelings in a dream about two loves and a choice to be made. It elicted a fair number of responses to the question, "What would you do?" Many people tried to interpret the meaning of the dream. Others answered as though the choice were real.

This dream, unlike many of my others, has a denouement. I was able to balance my years with my husband vs the years without the other person. I resolved the ups and downs and happiness and disappointments of our relationship vs the unknown. I chose to stay.

I am happy the dream had resolution because I tend to analyze my dreams ; take them too seriously or too literally. They are very real to me while I'm in the midst of them. So real, in fact, I vividly recall a dream I had about my husband when I was with this other person twenty seven years ago. It was the same type of conflict, making a choice, only this time my husband was the object of longing. ( Note: at the time of that dream, we were divorced and I was with this other man.)

So, what does this say about me? The grass is always greener? I have interesting dreams? I need to learn to live in the moment? Probably all of the above.

I spent many years living in the past. It is not an easy thing to admit but it is true. Living in the past is wasted time, as one reader pointed out. Trying to predict the future is also futile because we do not know what will happen and we waste time worrying about it. I have spent many years learning to live in the present and I think I'm almost there. Every few days I have a hiccough and I think forward or backwards. For the most part, I am here today.


Sixpence and a Blue Moon said...

Like you, I have very vivid dreams and live a lot in the past.

Big hugs to ya! Hope you have a wonderful Sunday, hon.

P.S. I've been listening to the Sunday talk shows...and now, my blood is boiling!!!

Sixpence and a Blue Moon said...

Btw, do you have a fb page?

Pop and Ice said...

All I can say is "thank God I don't remember my dreams" or at least when I do they're just a bunch of craziness. I've enough "real" decisions to make everyday without having my dreams creating additional havoc with "what if" crap. I'm a move forward, make quick decisions, and have no regrets kind of person. I drive my hubby crazy....but I'm fine with me the way I am.

Tanna said...

Do you think that one of our biggest lessons is that the grass isn't greener? Gratitude for what we have... appreciation for our lives... Sometimes I have it. Then, I'm focusing over the fence.

Lover of Life said...

I was just talking to my daughter about things from the past resurfacing. Is it midlife that we revisit issues long gone, but maybe not completely put to rest? We think we resolved them long ago, but something happens and the memories surface, and with it emotions that are affiliated with the memories. Could dreams be the way we work these issues out, once and for all?

Minka said...

In m drams personalities and faces sometimes mix an only I know who is who and even I only know that for a moment. Then I feel that all the crazy things are normal. But sometimes, though, I feel very lucky that it was just a dream when I wake up. I don't take dreams too seriously and I feel relieved when I find out I don't have to explain one weird situation or another (or, that I didn't go to work in my pajamas or with nothing on at all... or do any other stupid and embarrassing thing.)

Star said...

We all live in the past to some extent, don't we. That is where we learn the lessons of life, which will make us stronger in the future. Of course, some of us don't learn and go on making the same mistakes over and over again. The past is past and the future is yet to come, so the present is the most comfortable place to be, I would say.
Blessings, Star

Lorna said...

I wandered upon your blog here and found many coincidental (?) similarities. Some have to do with the pictures, some to do with movies that I too found very interesting.

I also have a politics blog (”Pesky Emotional Republican“) along with my personal blog (”Southern California Woman.“)

It is remarkable, how many points of similarity I see in your blog, the things you say.

”Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil“

The picture in which two people are seated on two chairs. I did a picture like that, but only the chairs.

I will be returning to your blog for sure.

~~Southern California Woman

California Girl said...

Sixpence: watched Biden on Meet the Press. watched McConnell on Face the Nation. I don't have FB. Too much for me.

Pop: I know what you mean about not remembering. I'm probably better off...I drive my husband crazy with my dreams too.

Tanna: Well, it has certainly been a HUGE lesson for me to learn. Only took 56 years, thank you very much.

LOL: In one sense, I have worked out one past romance. I finally stopped dreaming about my very first love (I was 16) and that was a relief. I had dreams about him for 20 years. The second love took over after that. I know I'd be dreaming about my husband too had I not remarried him.

Minka: I have often felt EXTREMELY lucky it was "only a dream" when I awoke. They can seem so real.

Star: you are a wise woman. xo

Lorna: Thank you for visiting and leaving your intriguing comments. I will (actually already have) visit your blog. We may have some spirited debates! Good for us.

Reya Mellicker said...

I think longing is a part of being a devotional person. If you feel love, then you're bound to long for something or someone. It's a way people yearn for God. That's my theory. So for me the dream would signal that it's a time for longing, more than a time to make a choice - it's the process, not the decision, that would interest me. I know, I'm weird that way.

My dreams are very real to me, too. They are metaphors for what's "really" happening with me. I think it's respectful to spend time with your dreams.

You definitely reaped a lot of wisdom from this dream. Bravo!!

California Girl said...

Reya: I was wondering what you would think as you touch on this subject periodically. Longing is a good word. I do long for things past and old feelings and beautiful memories. I always read that, were i to go back to an exact moment, the way Scrooge did with the Ghost of Christmas Past, it wouldn't be the way I remembered it at all. I wonder if that is true?

Ruth said...

It takes a lot of practice to live in the present moment.

And I think you're right, that it's easy to create a world of "fantasy" around what might have been, when in reality it might not have been like that.


by Cole Scott