tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929216211968531577.post4805899649173850231..comments2023-05-16T06:32:48.715-04:00Comments on Women of a Certain Age: Rites of PassageCalifornia Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12582691517303132274noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929216211968531577.post-32203473561700821052010-08-24T15:28:18.860-04:002010-08-24T15:28:18.860-04:00Ladies, thank you for taking the time to read this...Ladies, thank you for taking the time to read this post. I was compelled to share. We have all gone through it but now, many are going through it again, with our own children. I get so tired of the small irritations. I know that's why God wants them out. On the other hand, what's out there? <br /><br />I too left home at 19 to finish college in another city. LOVED being on my own (I worked 20+ hrs wkly in a coffee shop & paid my rent) and never went back. I took roommates, I bought re-treads (remember those), I went without. I didn't like being poor but I did like the independence. <br /><br />My father, born 1910, was so worried I'd never be able to afford anything due to inflation. I feel the same way towards my children's future. But, life, somehow goes on.California Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12582691517303132274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929216211968531577.post-15381927447919905702010-08-24T13:28:18.296-04:002010-08-24T13:28:18.296-04:00I'll have to go back and read this article. I ...I'll have to go back and read this article. I focused on adolescence in college - we had to pick an age in human development and family studies. We have, indeed, created a very long adolescence in our society. We expect young people to not be sexual until they are married - but marriage has been put off until the mid to late twenties and sometimes longer. How normal can that be? We expect our children to go out on their own after they graduate from college, but the choices for jobs is next to none. The ones they can get are low paying without benefits. Without responsibilities - such as paying the bills, raising children - young people can drink and remain irresponsible as long as their parents are picking up the tab. No need not to go to bed early, because they don't have anything to get up for in the morning. And they will still eat at the end of the day.<br /><br />I think we have to face some hard realities when it comes to our young people. I don't have all the answers, but I do believe they need to get up in the morning and go to work - even if it's low paying and unskilled. But more importantly, we need to realize that not all children are bound for college, and begin to look at schooling our children for things they can do right out of high school. What good is enormous college loans if one can't find a job in that field? <br /><br />Great post!Nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13178290697351352495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929216211968531577.post-84649234210326352882010-08-23T18:50:07.194-04:002010-08-23T18:50:07.194-04:0018 is the "luggage birthday?"
I left ho...18 is the "luggage birthday?"<br /><br />I left home at 19 and it was sink or swim. As a result, I learned how to survive in this world and make my way on my own. A friend of mine who is still supporting her 26 year old daughter said to me, "Kids are so much less mature these days." Well, hell yeah! Where's their incentive to grow up.<br /><br />Best thing you can do is kick their privileged little butts to the curb. If you've done your job, they'll be fine. If not, it's too late now.injaynesworldhttp://injaynesworld.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929216211968531577.post-31350187215317685112010-08-21T07:32:21.958-04:002010-08-21T07:32:21.958-04:00A well-crafted, thoughtful, frustrated post. I nee...A well-crafted, thoughtful, frustrated post. I need to see into the links... I often wonder whether I am supplying the growing up tools or the stay at home tools.... -JHarnett-Hargrovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07486168670308150669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929216211968531577.post-91521004314295429212010-08-20T17:35:12.964-04:002010-08-20T17:35:12.964-04:00Ah loved this but what a conundrum. I have a total...Ah loved this but what a conundrum. I have a totally independent 25 year old at home who chooses to be here because it helps her hoard money although she's leaving home around Christmas. Another is 23 and about to get engaged but still at home and doesn't have the financial wherewithall to leave. I love having them home. They pay board, do chores and are awesome company but when I look at Adam particularly, I was married and taking on a mortgage at his age. Was that right? I don't kno but it did make me responsible. Also research has recently found that young men particularly do not have the mental capacity to correctly guage 'risk' which is why so many do get into fights, car crashes etc. Although over here, adulthood is deemed at 18. At that age, you're legally responsible for yourself. Imagine! Today there will be a whole bunch of immature 18 year olds voting for the first time. I bet half of them will draw willies on their ballot papers.Bainohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156193098088048637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929216211968531577.post-28145500244117011642010-08-20T12:47:23.095-04:002010-08-20T12:47:23.095-04:00I found your blog via Nancy at Life in the second ...I found your blog via Nancy at Life in the second half. This is a thoughtful, well written post. Thank you. Much to think about as my own children begin leaving the nest... (only to return?) We'll see.The Good Cookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01249986191289837440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929216211968531577.post-13450724801282027662010-08-20T00:21:32.971-04:002010-08-20T00:21:32.971-04:00Oh thank you for this post. So many bits and piec...Oh thank you for this post. So many bits and pieces of this have been burgeoning in my brain. I'm going to have to read it again and check all the links as well...Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09387041422819664987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929216211968531577.post-41997020295635356272010-08-19T16:38:37.763-04:002010-08-19T16:38:37.763-04:00In tribal or indigenous societies, preparations ar...In tribal or indigenous societies, preparations are made, the skills of adulthood are taught and time alone is provided to seek the vision needed to find one's personal way for this phase. Then, once all this is accomplished, the rites of passage are celebrated to proclaim each person's transition which is accepted by the whole society. <br />Our society offers no such preparation (other then school), no skill enumeration or building, no vision quest or rite of passage. All those different ages for different activities that you listed shows we can't even agree on what the age of adulthood should be. Surely, we're partly responsible for the outcomes you describe. What's a young person to do? Looks like they'll set their own timetable which may or may not match their parents.<br />Good, thought provoking post!Grandmother Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18169464484379536529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929216211968531577.post-76186085306804122152010-08-19T10:42:24.050-04:002010-08-19T10:42:24.050-04:00I just read the article this morning and was very ...I just read the article this morning and was very intrigued myself. Our 27-year-old son is living at home temporarily (how temporarily I don't know). <br /><br />I would have been fearful too, not hearing from them, so good for you that you were able to imagine another scenario. I'm getting there.<br /><br />I'm definitely with you, that regardless of what has gotten this generation of kids into this slow motion rise to adulthood, I say let them figure it out, we've already given the tools. Amen, sister!Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.com